GosuNoob Video Game Reviews

It took me by the collar and shook the shit out of me, leaving me awestruck and with messed-up hair. Inscryption is a fantastic, one-of-a-kind…

Considering how much everything has changed in the last quarter of a century, Age of Empires 4 is almost Old-Testamentesque in its conservativism. It’s a…

A big elephant stands between me, seated on a couch with the DualSense in my hands and a TV on the other side of the…

Colonel Miles Quaritch from James Cameron’s Avatar had this to say to every new batch of base security personnel: „You’re not in Kansas anymore. You’re…

The newest trend in gaming is screwing with time. Lemnis Gate (a semi-clumsy pun on lemniscate, the famous infinity symbol) is an online arena shooter…

Eleven years after its release on Xbox 360, Alan Wake is considered a modern classic. It was a big-budget game, created as relaxed labor of…

Blockbuster franchises are notoriously resistant to change. And yet, they must evolve or project the impression of evolving, lest people get bored. There is also…

I was in the mood for the lightweight, stupid simulated labor, and Gas Station Simulator delivered it in spades. Or gallons. Why did I single…

After a long and arduous search, I had managed to find a high-profile game more dull and pointless than Death Stranding. There needs to be…

Even the authors renowned for genre-bending and experimentation can be super cautious when explaining the nature of their games. Ken Levine famously insisted that the…

It seems that the Life is Strange series is destined to forever waddle in its puddle of mediocrity. What started as an interesting take on…

The evolution of ACDsee, a popular image viewer from the nineties, should serve as a clear warning for the dangers of excessive inflating. Early versions…

If you come for the king, you best not miss, said the charismatic, shotgun-wielding, drug-dealer-robbin’ Omar Little from The Wire, paraphrasing American essayist Ralph Waldo…

It has been an excellent year for cute blockbusters. It Takes Two, a supremely brilliant co-op adventure that is still our most serious GOTY candidate,…

The sheer power and artistic quality of Alien (1979) and Aliens (1986) are carrying the rest of the mediocre Xenomorph movie franchise on their mighty…

Marvel’s lawyers tried to copyright the term “zombie” back in the late seventies, but their dick move was not successful (you can read about it…

The latest Doom games went overboard with comically complicated lore that put the unnecessary spin on a legacy concept, perfect in its simplicity. Lone soldier…

I don’t know the details of Warhammer 40K licensing agreements, but Games Workshop presumably offers a very sweet deal to every prospective developer keen to…

Neon, rain, noodle stands, and advertising holograms shining through the permanent night. Environmental aesthetics of The Ascent ticks all the cyberpunk boxes, invoking the crushing…