Fortnite Battle Royale Season 5 starts today, and the anticipation has reached record highs. While most of us are just sitting by idly, waiting for the servers to grace us with their presence, a number of busy bees have been hard at work uncovering new info by pulling the client and game files apart. Thanks to them, we now know what seven of the new skins are going to look like.
The first two are a major disappointment. We already have, like, a hundred dudebro soldier skins, and they’re all extremely boring. Please put your hands together for Bearded Dudebro, the latest addition to the DudebroTM family. The next one is just a repainted version of Helmet Person, which we already have.
Now we’re onto the interesting stuff. The next guy looks like a fever-dream mashu-up of Danny Day Lewis from Gangs of New York and Kratos. He also has a bright turquoise beard, which is a plus that cannot be overstated. Urban Guy takes center stage, with his stylish hairdo, face mask, almost-wifebeater shirt and trendy fingerless gloves.
Next up, we’ve got Valhalla Lady. As much as she is every stereotype of a viking woman warrior ever, it’s a cool skin. I’m not going to complain. The next one is like a mix of office worker and SWAT member. She’d feel right at home in one of the earlier Resident Evil games, that’s for sure. I can’t say I really understand the last one. It’s supposed to be a lifeguard, I think? Maybe?
Either way, the starting lineup is far more interesting than the one from the previous season, and it’s great to know we’re getting a new loading screen, since that’s where we spend most of our time in-game.